2015 have been a year of change. I do this privately every year where I would write a reflection of my sins that I hope to change for the better, things and people that have impacted my life in 2015 and also the things that I am grateful for. This year I would like to share a little bit of it online;
M Y S I N S
I need to stop being greedy (about certain things) and know when to stop, know how to be contented, that sometimes wanting more can be more harmful. A hard lesson that I learnt in Japan, a story so embarrassing that only my close friends will know.
I need to stop spending unwisely. I literally looking around my room now as I write this, its a junkyard with so many things just for display - its not practical, i need to save for rainy days.
I need to know how to express my appreciation better to people, shower others with love because they deserve it. Let people know how much I actually am grateful to have them in my life, how special a role they play, how they have inspired or impacted my life decisions etc.
I need to communicate better. Honestly making videos on YouTube would be way easier (and more fun) than typing out on a blog for me. But I'm so bad when it comes to speaking about my opinions and thoughts. I'm the worst story teller ever. I have been trying to improve on it, I guess there is little progress, but it can be better. My thoughts are so well constructed in my head, but when I open my mouth, the words are all in knots. As frustrating as it is for the listener, its more frustrating for me to actually convey what is already spelled out in my head. (need to work on that)
I N S P I R A T I O N A N D T H A N K F U L 2 0 1 5
There are a lot of people. But firstly family - never in my life would I to have thought that my cousin would sponsor my Korea trip. Like whuttttttt? It was a dream come true this year when it happened, and I dearly miss those 9 days I spent in Korea with my beloved Aunt and Cousin.
Also my parents who tirelessly slogged out hard for the family, to pay the bills, to stick to the mon-fri work schedule and never complain. Who try to give me everything that I ask for. I mean no family is perfect, but seeing them loving me unconditionally through their actions, they are truly one of the people that inspire me. And of course, thank you for bringing me to places - Japan and Bangkok twice? I never would have thought it could happen if you told me in 2014 I was going to travel so much.
Also my brother who listens to my rants every other night or so - you are the best, and although I used to hate the idea of having a brother (cause I don'd have anyone to share clothes with - I'm sorry I was immature ahhaa) but now, I can't be more thankful that its you.
And so many more like my grandma who cooks what we want to eat when we visit her, who comes all the way to my house to deliver hot pipping food in the teng-kuans - so old school I like. My other cousins that check in on me now and then, my relatives that were concerned about me when I was in a car accident, everything adds up and what can I say? Family is really best.
And my friends are really awesome too; my cheapobuddies, I know I was crazy about cafe-hopping for a while, and for some of us - its not really considered to be something we're willing to spend on - went along with the idea. You guys made time to meet up, to hang out, sometimes just to lepak and talk cock. It has been an awesome 2015 with you guys, and I cannot thank you enough - for whatever that you are planning *wink wink nudge nudge* and the willingness to lend a helping hand when I said I'm hosting a party. Though we are so different, I can see our friendship lasting for years till death do us apart (cliche) *muacks*
Not forgetting the other friends that I had in Poly, too many to name, but you guys know who you are. Thank you for accepting the weird awkward me, that is occasionally silent, occasionally loud, and most of the time with the resting bitch face (but I'm just feeling neutral). I'm also glad to have gotten close to some of you, and you guys showed me more to friendship. x
And here and there, I am happy to have met friends in my Uni that I click well with. Friends from other countries (I took a leap of faith, and I don't regret that choice), friends from other poly (that we rant together about how SMU is soooooo different and exhausting x ), friends that well are there for a reason but its okay I still love you guys and I'm sincerely grateful to have known you.
And not forgetting meeting up randomly with old friends from Primary school! Gosh it was awkward for me BUT it was a joy to know how well you guys were doing and how life have changed so much for us all. And some from my Secondary school, whom I have met or contacted. I'm glad to know that you guys are doing well and I've picked up a few cool facts about each and everyone of you, that inspired me.
And well honestly, I kept up with many of your lives through social media, and when you guys were sad posting emo posts, my heart is with you, I'm just afraid to comment (later labelled as nosy) but when things got better, I'm glad for you. :) - see social media can be a good thing too.
And well, my 21st birthday is coming up. It's really crazy to think I'm offically becoming an adult this year. And like how I told some of my friends, I have many things (looks around my room again - confirmed), and although its nice to get things for me that I want, I really want and treasure nothing more than our friendship. So those invited to my party, your attendance and maybe a personal letter/card is a great present already, from the bottom of my heart.
But of course, I know its ridiculous to come empty handed - I mean even if someone tell me not to get them anything, I will still get something at least. And to put it out there, don't buy me expensive stuff, I'm never a person about brands or trends, those Pandora bracelets, or LV bags or Tiffany & Co. those stuff are not my thing - I'm not very feminine I know. And if you really don't know what to get me, gift cards are perfect for a shopaholic like me. Hehe
P R A C T I C A L L U S T / W I S H L I S T 2 0 1 6:
D I G I T A L & T E C H S T U F F
1. Prime lenses
I would probably get one this year or next, to get the shots that I want. Not listing which one because I don't expect anyone to get for me, I would feel forever indebted to you if you do.
2. Fujiflim Polaroid Printer (White)
Okay there's a perfect explanation why I want this. My Polaroid Camera broke down in Jan 2015, after only using it for 2-3 years? I have no idea why, and it looks and feels brand new :( Plus I like the idea that I can print images from my phone - I get to edit in text or animations and we get to properly choose what actually comes out on the film. I'll leave a link if you have no idea what I'm talking about. Hehe, but this I believe a group of peeps are getting for me already. Opps!
3. Fujiflim Polaroid Films
Because it is never enough. Available in vending machines, film shops and online. About $9-15 a pack. The white ones will do! Then we can write and paste stickers on it.
4. Hard Drive
Is this beginning to sound boring already? But this is such a necessity. At the rate I am taking pictures and videos, my current Samsung hard disk of I think almost a Tera is running out. Hahah what do I film and take right? (moments and memories to look back when I'm older) I'm okay with any brand (Seagate/WD/ Sony - but no Toshiba please haha long story), as long as it does not corrupt on me and make me unable to retrieve my files. Available at Challengers, Courts, Best Denki etc.
M A K E U P R E L A T E D
1. Tarte's Amazonian Clay Matte Palette
Cause the only nudes I want to see on my birthday is a nude eye shadow palette that smells like chocolate. Hahha available at Sephora at $69.
2. Real Technique or Eco Tools Make Up Brushes
I have been using the same brushes ever since I was in secondary school (I do clean them haha) but I guess as an adult now (hehe excuses) I should be using "real" brushes for different techniques. I would need a fluffy eyeshadow brush, contour brush and eyebrow brush. I think they are both available at Watsons or Sephora - unsure of price.
3. Urban Decay's Naked Basic 2 Palette
Hahah yet another nude I want to receive. Available in Sephora at $40 i think.
4. Urban Decay's Eye Shadow Primer
Because I've been battling with oily eye lids and its not fun to see my lids left with half the colours halfway through the night out. :( It's also sold at Sephora (now you know where I go when I got no where to go) about $40 I think.
F A S H I O N R E L A T E D
1. TUK Shoes
As my brother will put it, "You like any shoes that makes you look taller luh." and I cannot disagree to that. Haha. But I was devastated when my fake TUK shoes that I got from New Look (a birthday present I got myself 3-4 years back) gave way on my trip to Korea. They were honestly the most comfiest shoes that I owned that was great to stomp around in. It visited so many places with me, and sadly I had to leave it in hotel room, beside the bin. :(
TUK show size: US-9, UK-7, Europe-40, 246mm (Yes I'm a tua-cah-soh - Hahah the Tan-Cosine-Sine reference)
I think it is available at the shop "77th street" in Ion and Bugis Junction or at the shoe shops in cineleisure like Left foot - about $100+
2. Faux Fur Coat
HAHAHA it looks cool and luxurious okay, I know you are judging me. But yeah what are the chances of me wearing it right? If I have it, I think I would switch on the aircon in my room and wear it to sleep. But no, not practical to get me one. Thanks to those friends that remembered me wanting one, and thanks for persuading me that it is not practical. But one day, when I travel, I will get my hands on a cheap one that at least my heart won't ache, cause I only wear that few times for photos and that cool-kid vibe.
O T H E R S
1. Cash
I don't think anyone will turn this down, ever right? Haha
But it will fund my upcoming travel plans in 2016 - I really want to visit Hong Kong and Korea (again - for my friend).
2. Vouchers and Gift Cards
Did I mention how much of a shopaholic I am already? Lol. Was discussing about this with one of my group of friends the other day, Capital Land mall vouchers, Sephora and Ikea gift cards make a good choice.
3. A Soulmate
That is one million percent comfortable for the raw me, the no make up, the no filters, the no fancy appearance, the no well thought out string of words, the randomness and curiosity the burns in me everyday that I tell myself to keep it under control etc. Someone that I know I can love for the rest of my life unconditionally, someone I can lean on and trust when my faith in humanity is low, someone I am willing to shower love and affection and sacrifice for, someone I know that everyday is going to be an adventure, that it will never be a dull moment, that I can be understanding of their weird likes and habits, someone that I will feel like the luckiest person on earth. A person with sharp jaw line and big eyes I could stare forever in and get lost in it. (Is this too much to ask for? Haha)
Disclaimer: I actually don't feel nice to list the things that I want, but people are telling me its more practical - which I agree. Hahaha I guess its doing both of us a favour. But this is not like "ohh you have to get me this this this if you're coming to my party".. Any present that you get me I will like or even love! I like things that has thought and consideration put into it, especially letters/cards cause they are personal and heartfelt words. :)
As you can see, I really don't have much that I want.. Because I feel like I kind of have what I need, like what I mentioned in my reflection, I'm trying to be contented with life and with what I already have. And to me relationships with my friends and family are everything, and anything that you get me, I'll be very appreciative of.
With that I would need to catch up on my sleep as I type this to usher in the new year at 3am in the morning. It is going to be a blur week with school and preparations of the party. But to those coming! I'll try my very best to make it a fun one, bring your phones fully charged cause we're going to take lots of pictures for keepsake memories - and oh dress to the theme ;)
To whomever that is reading this, I hope that 2015 ended well, it is now a closure to all the bad and unwanted unhappiness that happened. Let 2016 start afresh with a clean slate and let's work towards creating our own lives the way we want it to go, seize every opportunity to be happy and make the people around us feel loved and appreciated. Life is really short and unexpected, don't do anything that you will regret. Wishing you all the best, and here's to 2016!
(Someone please give him an Oscar this year)
Love yourself and others,
Sharleen x
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